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Chapter Eight: Into The Left

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stirred from her restless sleep in the hours of late morning, Helena heard Evans cheerfully call from the bedroom door that he would be heading out. Off to gather some fresh air and pick up some supplies in Camden, the shopkeeper inquired as to whether she would like to join him. The brilliant sun had been shining for hours already, warming the city with a radiant heat. A rare occasion even in the midst of summer as soft tufts of clouds spread across a light blue sky, like gentle strokes of a hog hair paintbrush. On any other day it would have been a glorious way to spend the morning, but this was no ordinary day. The normality of a customary day had no place in her new found world.  The false pretence of gaiety to mask despondency was repellent and deceitful. If she took a walk out that door to traipse around Camden with Evans she would be only playing a charade, and Helena detested playing games.

 

Replying a blunt no, Helena rolled over and away from him as he awaited her response. Evans simply nodded silently and descended the stairs of the shop, the tinkle of the bell sounding as it shut the door closed behind him.

 

Five months had passed since the Scotswoman had been rescued by Evans from her fate at the gallows in Dysart. Five months. And ever since then she had remained alone in this strange world of London 1844. Alone in the master bedroom of Evans, graciously bestowed to her on the insistence of her host who, with a convincing smile, said he had been determined to clear out the stuffy attic for quite some time and make a bedroom out of it. Why a singular gentleman who entertained no guests would be interested in anything of the sort was highly questionable, and answered Helena's suspicion that Evans was desperately doing his best to make her feel at ease in her new situation.

 

Despite the amiable and kind nature of her host, Helena's spirits were disheartened beyond repair. Memories of betrayal and loss teased and taunted her, the repetitiveness of the ideas refusing to leave her mind. Flashes of recollections when she was being led to the noose where she was destined to be hung, the cheer of the crowd echoing in her mind and the look of fear in the eyes of her children. Envisaging the face of pure hatred that Tearlach held, cursing her name as she stumbled up the wooden steps of the gallows. Five months on and Helena found herself worse than ever, her hands shaking at times through no will of her own, and an overwhelming fear crawling over her. Her body barely being kept alive, she existed but did not live. And where there was flesh, she was certain the soul had died the moment she had been ripped from her world and flung into this one.

 

Deliberating the situation through cloudy depressed thoughts, the decision had been made with a somewhat reckless spontaneity. While imperative to look before one leapt, Helena lacked the frame of mind to perform that essential part of the decision making process. She had already decided what needed to be done and there was no going back.

 

Proceeding to the French dressing table adorned with a cream oval cheval mirror, the woman placed herself calmly down on the stool and began to pin up her hair neatly. The wild and unruly would be tamed, and all would be restored to how it should be. When her brown tresses were deemed perfect, she commenced powdering her face a perfect porcelain pale white, before rouging her cheeks a soft tint of rose pink. A little charcoal dabbed delicately around her eye line, she nodded in approval at the final result, the darkness of the ash emphasising her forest green eyes.

 

Serenely Helena dressed herself in her favourite outfit; of skirt, corset and jacket. The skirt was a multi layered, ruched black dragging skirt made of the finest lace that fitted around her waist snugly to give an hourglass silhouette. The corset was long and stiffened with boning, falling just below the waist; black with a damask pattern and adorned with silver clasps that secured at the front, and laced at the back with crimson cord. Finally, a black velveteen jacket covered her frame, with carved rose ivory buttons that fastened down the middle and elegant long sleeves adorned with black lace cuffs that frilled slightly out over her hands.

 

The outfit had been graciously given to her by Evans a few months back in a gentlemanly attempt to rally her spirits, and truth be told she was so taken aback by the gesture that the clothing was of little consequence as opposed to the act in itself. No one had ever gifted her clothing, let alone the exquisite trappings bestowed by Evans. Her life in Scotland had been humble, and she had worn the attire of a villager her entire life. Of thick grey woollen skirts, a plain cream corset, heavy green cotton dresses, chunky woollen socks and a moth eaten tartan shawl. Not one bit of finery was ever entertained, and indeed the woman never came in contact with it except for when dressing Lady Bayliss.

 

So ingrained was the idea that these fine objects were unobtainable to someone like Helena, being but a chamber maid, she never thought much of it or pined away for such items. Little did she know one day a stranger would offer her finer garments than that of even Lady Bayliss. One day a stranger would bestow more kindness than any person had ever offered her in her entire life.

 

That one day a stranger would indeed save her life.

 

So beautiful were the clothes Evans gave Helena that even for weeks after she had received them she feared to touch the garments as they remained perfectly wrapped in their packaging from the store, ever so precious to her. Helena knew it was silly to be so attached to a few pieces of material, however there was symbolism behind her fondness. The clothing held sentiment as much as it did thread, and she justified the adoration she bestowed upon the ensemble from that perspective. Of course she also delighted to be in the possession of lace and frills!

 

Once finished with the dressing ceremony, Helena headed for the stairs. To meet death, if that was the case. Hauntingly beautiful in black, perhaps a spirit soon but magnificently dressed for an eternity she would happily endure. Hands trembling against the walnut wooden rail, the woman descended the steps one by one, the creak of the floorboards groaning tiredly beneath her, her breath growing short and sharp as she approached the cabinet with fear.

 

The small scurry of a mouse sounded in the corner of the room, the rodent rummaging behind a narrow space of a cupboard. Even such an insignificant noise startled Helena, her nerves all a jitter, and without hesitation she wrenched the cabinet open and jumped in, closing the left door firmly behind her.

 

Heart pounding in her chest as she sat there in the dark, once again she could feel that sickening sensation of skin crawling as she felt something else was with her in the shadowy confines. The head spinning dance proceeded once more. Eyes clenched shut tight, her arms wrapped desperately around her knees in fear as every part of her felt like it was spiralling out of control. Helena felt a soft cold breath on her shoulder; something was so close to her it was almost consuming her. Devouring her. She felt it lean over to her ear, humming the soft tune of a lullaby. A sickening song filling her with paralytic dread as it continued, louder and louder, growing more vicious in vibrato with a hiss in its voice. Gasping for air, a stifled scream departed her lips as she desperately felt for the door in an attempt to escape. Clawing her nails against the oak, the splinters pierced her flesh. Trapped and helpless, until suddenly the doors wrenched open and something roughly pushed her out of the cabinet, onto the cold wooden floors of an empty room.

 

Finally, she was home…

 

Casting her eyes rapidly around her surroundings, Helena soon realised she was not in the Eachann Forest at the nook of trees close to the river. Instead the wardrobe stood in the centre of a small room with black painted walls and high ceilings lined with white cornices etched with patterns of entwined ropes. The wooden floors were finely polished mahogany, while a large window to the right side of the room looked out onto an evening fast approaching. A closed white door of the room stood ominously before her, leading out into the unknown.

 

'Where in the blazes am I?' she whispered fearfully to herself.

 

Clambering for the window, the woman desperately cast her eyes onto an industrious parade of a bustling street of late afternoon. Horse drawn carriages and wagons busily travelled in both directions up and down the street, the vehicles passing by men dressed in top hats, frockcoats and trousers, and women in bonnets, dresses and redingotes, meandering in and out of shops and residences that lined the way. The scene looked somewhat like London, yet the street was much larger and open, and the buildings different in style. There was more space than Helena had seen in the few parts of London she had ventured in. Rather than all cramped up with barely enough room to sneeze, this street was easily thirty-two yards in width. If it was London she had travelled to, it was a part she had yet to see. Or was it somewhere else entirely?

 

Where in the world was she?

 

Turning from the window, she drew back to the door of the room before withdrawing her hand suddenly from the handle, as if were white hot to touch. What was on the other side? The owner of the house? A terrified maidservant ready to notify the Bobbies that there was a trespasser in the house? An angry mob ready to accuse her of being a witch?

 

Grasping her hair in frustration, the messy strands fell as Helena took a few paces back, bumping into the door of the wardrobe that remained swung wide open.

 

The left side of the door.

 

Stumbling into the realisation of what had actually happened, Helena drew her hands to her mouth in disbelief. Instead of going into the right hand side of the wardrobe as she had done each time before, she had unwittingly entered the left side without any thought that it may change her destination. Yet here she was, in a place that was not her home, and in a time that was not her own.

 

Naturally she could return once again into the left side of the wardrobe and hope to arrive in London once more, but in truth she was terrified of the entity in the wardrobe she had just encountered. Nothing could have enticed her at that moment to go back. There were also questions that riddled her mind. Why had the left door sent her to this place?  

 

'Out the window.' she muttered, turning back.

 

Twisting the metal latch and lifting the heavy wooden framed glass as silently as she could, Helena managed to ungraciously struggle through bundles of black skirt to climb out the window. She toppled onto a narrow patch of bushes underneath the window of a basalt stone two story townhouse, one that was enclosed by a wrought iron black gate.

 

Closing the window once more, she ensured the slightest gap was left open so she could return once more. With a few strange looks thrown towards her by the occasional passer-by, Helena thankfully managed to escape with little attention or concern from the travelling strangers on the street as she hurriedly departed through the gate and stepped out onto the cobblestoned street.

 

Ambling along she soon felt the eyes of every stranger upon her, with narrowed beaded glares, curious to down-right judgemental, running up and down her attire. Perhaps it was just her fear and paranoia, perhaps no one cared one jot about the woman. It mattered not, she needed to escape.

 

Finding the first place to surrender to, Helena turned hastily from the active street into a quiescent narrow lane, one that resided between two large grey stone buildings that towered up at least four stories high on either side. An ashen slender cobblestone alley; dark, dingy and somewhat isolated apart from a few chairs and tables scattered outside, and a few lit lanterns swung from posts. Further down the lane there was an open wooden door leading into the right side of the building, with a red wooden sign swinging overhead; Squire Lane Coffee House.

 

Spotting a discarded newspaper lying on one of the tables nearby, Helena desperately lunged for it.

 

The Argus, Melbourne Edition.

Friday, February 12th 1869.

 

 

Cocking her head in confusion as she beheld the date, Helena finally prised her eyes off the paper to look around the lane and back to the busy street. Was this indeed 1869?

 

'Twenty-five years in the future.' she muttered under her breath 'By the devil, where or what is Melbourne?'

 

'I would not waste your time in reading that.' called out a male voice from a table further down, one that was leaning against the left side of the narrow alleyway, partially concealed in the shadows. 'Always the same stories, just different days. Oh naturally the riffraff pour over it with unbridled enthusiasm, kindled by the coffee that they misconstrue as some newfound ability to make them philosophers of the world. They all gather round and have the audacity to debate political affairs as if they were well educated on matters. When in truth their intellect would never be able to comprehend anything more complex than the purchase and sell column on page eight. Yet there they are, fists pounding on tables and beads of sweat pouring down their red faces as they make passionate speeches to a herd of nods and here here's, adamant in the declaration of their beliefs. All of them blissfully unware of the actual truth. That their views of the world; from politics, economics, legislation, finance, science, and religion, are merely fed to them through the biased opinions of the men who actually write that garb.'

 

Startled, Helena spun around to meet a pair of smiling dark eyes looking at her from a distance. A man of forty or maybe less, of medium build and stately dressed in an unbuttoned black waistcoat, revealing a crisp white cotton long sleeved shirt covered by a black button up vest. A fine black silken cravat wrapped around his graceful neck; it was apparent he was a gentleman of some distinction. He wore black woollen trousers and perfectly polished black shoes, and held an elegant demeanour that was just as striking. His black hair fell long and pulled back, neatly drawn into a ponytail to reveal his handsome face, of skin deathly white, contrasting his dark elegant eyebrows and pair of almond shaped eyes that were blacker than midnight itself. With a well-defined jaw and an intense stare, the austere attributes of his features were outweighed by the constant smirk on his lips, ever playful in nature.

 

Resting back in his chair at ease, glass of wine casually held in one hand and a pipe in the other, the man threw a silent nod to Helena. He looked upon her with a small curl on his lips as he continued to enjoy his pipe, the scent of sweet tobacco lingering across in a plume of smoke.

 

'Why are all the stories the same?' she asked breathlessly, heart pounding as she shakily sat down at the table, trying to comprehend her recent arrival into the future.

 

The man shrugged 'Apparently life never changes much. Inebriation and violence flood Collins Street both night and day, a bout of typhoid has spread in the east end of Melbourne, a man got bitten by a pig in Bourke Street, and whispers of gold. Always the same story. Some pair apparently found a grand old nugget in Moliagul this time. The Welcome Stranger.'. The man flashed a smile towards Helena, friendly but also mischievous, as if he was privy to something she was not. 'Surely you must have heard of it?'

 

'Begging your pardon, I have only recently come to these parts.' replied Helena hastily, revealing a nervous titter as she looked around the alley with a frown. 'Where exactly is…Moliagul?'

 

'Oh I dare say some insignificant place north of Melbourne, in Victoria somewhere.' replied the man nonchalantly 'It is always up north in some small shanty town that no one would ever care frequent lest there be a chance of prospect. Always the same topic and it tires my mind. A conversation that never stops, in endless chatter of the glittering promise of fortune. In their exuberance, the people leave in spades only to return, forlorn, a few months later. The never-ending desperate stampede of false hope; of stumbling across one’s fortune knee deep in a muddy creek. Getting your hands dirty seems the only way to entail great riches these days.'. The man laughed, tapping his wine glass so it sounded a clear ting into the evening. 'I suppose some things never change.'

 

Helena remained quite as a mouse. Apparently she was in some strange place called Melbourne, in the county of Victoria? But where was that? Ireland? Wales? A new part of England she had yet heard of? The man sounded British, so surely she had not strayed into a complete foreign part of the world. The place looked unlike what Evans had described of countries such as India, Japan and Egypt. There were no monkeys or elephants walking the streets, or the smell of spices in the air, nor mountainous terrain that continued as far as the eye could see.

 

'Would you allow me the pleasure of buying you a refreshment?' inquired the man pleasantly.

 

Helena nodded without looking up, half distracted as she scoured the paper 'Thank you, a tea.'

 

With a sharp click of his fingers, the stranger drew the attention of a waiter standing by the door of the coffee house. Muttering the order to him under his breath, the waiter quickly descended back through the door in the alleyway.

 

Turning page over page, Helena's eyes searched frantically up and down each column to find some clue as to where she was. Finally, she turned over to the Amusements Section, and there it was:

 

 

THEATRE ROYAL

To-Night, at 7:45

FIRST TIME IN AUSTRALIA

F.L. Robertson's

Royal Comic Opera Theatre

Is a Musical Play with a Plot

"The Lucky Piper"

 

 

For some unexplained reason, Helena had been transported to 1869 in Melbourne, Australia.

 

Several minutes passed as Helena stared blankly at the paper, her eyes looking at the words rather than actually reading them, a blur of advertisements and columns that muddled together into an inky storm as she tried to fathom the situation. Yet how could anyone make sense of something that was unfathomable to begin with?

 

The hairs of her neck prickled and Helena could feel the eyes of the stranger watching her intensely, his black eyes inquisitively examining her before being interrupted as the waiter returned with a small cup of coffee.

 

Placing the steaming brew before Helena, the waiter turned to leave once more.

 

'The lady ordered a tea, not a coffee.' observed the stranger, throwing an unimpressed look at the waiter 'Working in a coffee house, I would have thought one would have known the subtle difference.'

 

Fearfully the waiter looked towards the man. 'I-I-am am so sorry.' the young man stammered. The waiter looked almost terrified of the stranger as he shifted uneasily back towards the coffee.

 

'No really, 'tis fine. Thank you.' replied Helena quickly, throwing a reassuring smile at the waiter.

 

She nodded again at the worried waiter, who threw a somewhat panicked look at the man sitting at the table before scurrying back into the Squire Lane Coffee House.

 

The alley was dark where Helena sat that evening, black coffee in hand and a warm wind scattering dust and leaf into the void of shadows. It was a balmy summers eve in Old Melbourne Town, and never had she felt such a warm temperature in all her life. As if the coldness of her former days melted with the heat, she wanted to fade blissfully away into the night. To forget about her life in this one small experience. If she was not in Fife, then she would remain here in Melbourne. Evans would be fearful of her disappearance, and she felt more than a little guilty, not wanting to worry the man. However all Helena wanted was some time away from London. A place far from the gloomy shop Le Cabinet des Curiosities, filled with the musty scent of books, wooden furniture and collected dust. Nothing mattered to her anymore and all she wanted to do was to escape into the hidden laneways of respite.

 

‘Your coffee is going cold.’ the man observed politely, looking towards the cup sitting on her table.

 

The blue breeze of twilight wrapped around Helena's shoulders, caressing her, and she revelled in the tranquillity as her eyes closed, embracing the moment.

 

'Cold, warm, it all tastes bitterly the same to me.' murmured Helena, adding somewhat bitterly to herself 'As does life, at times.'

 

The man chuckled, running his fingers around the brim of his wine glass, round and round. Black lashe and eyes, he gazed deeply into the crimson depths of his cup, only to flash his dignified face once more towards her, this time catching her eye.

 

Although Helena dared not question this stranger, she could not help wondering who he was. Then again, who was she? Something told her they both entertained dark souls, hiding in the shadows of sombre secret pasts they both wanted to confess but neither would dare. If Helena's head warned her to run, she did not listen to it. For her thoughts were fleeting and she wanted to forget.

 

‘What is your name, sir?’ Helena inquired, taking a sip of the coffee.

 

Simply, he responded ‘Craven De’Montmoray.’

 

His voice ran richly deep with the tongue of a well-educated man, eloquent and well mannered, yet with an underhanded civility that one would find pleasant amongst strangers.

 

‘Dare I ask your name?’ he asked with a small grin ‘A lady that sits here under a blanket of stars with no escort in sight?’

 

‘Helena Rose.' she replied bemusedly 'Now what do you suppose of me then? What does idle gossip dictate at this late hour? Surely drinking coffee in the haze of twilight does not suggest I have scarlet intentions?’

 

‘I hazard a guess that you are eager to while away the hours, under the darkness of this hour and nothing more. Such as myself.’ he observed serenely, looking up to the blue black sky above them ‘When all is quiet in the halls of our mind and the gloomy umbrage of our former years come out to play. To torment us when we would wish it not to be so. The soft tune of the violin will not cease this maddening waltz. But perhaps, just perhaps, on this eve we can foolishly hope to forget.'. Turning his attention back to Helena, he revealed a warm smile 'It is a pleasure to meet your acquaintance, Mistress Rose.’

 

Helena shook her head in confusion. This gentleman spoke in riddles and yet something inside her understood with a painfully sharp clarity of what he spoke.

 

‘Likewise, a pleasure. However, I know not of what you speak.’ Helena replied, producing a curl on the lips of her new acquaintance.

 

‘Do you not?’ he mused ‘I think that you do.’

 

‘You know nothing of me, Sir.’ she retorted indignantly. ‘Not any more than I know you, I am certain.’

 

’Lord.’ he replied sharply ‘Lord Craven De’Montmoray, but between acquaintances I am simply Craven. I tire of titles. I loathe them in fact.’

 

'A matter of great hardship to be sure, Craven.' remarked Helena sarcastically.

 

Craven chuckled as he took another sip of wine, never allowing his eyes to leave Helena for a second. 'None of us choose the life we are born into.' he observed 'Should the commoner be pitied more than the noble merely because one holds a title and the other does not? All positions in life are binding in some respect, for better or for worse.'

 

She felt him studying her, examining her, as if taking every part of her in and waiting for any reaction he could procure. As if eagerly anticipating any word to fall from her lips, whether good or bad.

 

'One holds a great deal more than just a title.' she scoffed, sweeping back her dishevelled brown hair. 'While the commoner may struggle with money, I am guessing the lord does not.'

 

'And does money equate to happiness now?' queried Craven with an amused smile 'Should we pity those with a light purse for they will never obtain true felicity?'. Adding with jest 'Those poor doomed sad people. Forget love, friendship, health and the mind's inner peace. Such trifle nonsense is incomparable to the material trappings of a truly ecstatic existence.'

 

Helena rolled her eyes 'I am guessing you have never spent a day in your life without a meal in yer belly. Never had enough coal for the fire. Gone without candles some nights and made to sit in the dark because there was no money to be spared for more?'. With a raised brow, she held the lord's attention seriously 'Perhaps that is not the true meaning of happiness, aye, but not having those small comforts will render you a great deal less I assure you.'

 

The lord nodded, pondering the words. 'Indeed you may be right there.'. Turning his black eyes to hers, he smiled. ‘Tell me, Helena, what is your story?’ he inquired curiously ‘A Scottish woman that sits in the shadows of this humble lane, trying to forget the echoes of former days.’

 

A tittering laugh escaped Helena's lips, released into the air of night. All of the fear within her was fading away as she spoke to Craven and she could not fathom why.

 

‘Oh my story is long, and much too humdrum.’ she quickly dismissed. ‘We all march the same tedious road of life together, what more can be said?’

 

‘Is that so?' remarked Craven with a raised brow 'Do you really believe that? As inevitable as we are born alone and die alone, so too do we travel life's journey…alone. Surely you must know only one person can travel each path. That is why we stumble across each other when we do. Our paths crossed this eve, here in this laneway.’

 

‘'Tis but chance.’ Helena scoffed ‘Believe me, I am well acquainted with the blasted concept of fate. It is merely an excuse to entertain meaning behind ordinary occurrences. I know a man who thinks like you. That a path led him to where he needed to be, for some higher purpose.’

 

'Did he not find himself where he needed to be?' asked Craven inquisitively.

 

'Oh aye, he found it well enough.' sighed Helena 'He was adamant it was fate, destiny or other such nonsense. Whatever you wish to call it, 'tis nothing but a name for good luck and bad luck. Or meddlesome third parties.'

 

Of destiny.' murmured the lord, taking in a deep breath 'Preordained fate from a power far greater than anything you or I could comprehend. There is truth behind it, your friend is correct. However, you will think what you will. Do not question it, if it gives you comfort.'

 

‘Do you imply I am blissfully ignorant?’ the Scotswoman asked in surprise 'I ken the concept of destiny but I think it is more of a romanticism rather than a reality. The meat of poets and bards, who take delight in their melodic illusions and vainly attempt to transform their fantasies into reality.'

 

Craven looked up suddenly, concern on his face 'No Helena, I only meant I would not wish you pain in trying to convince you otherwise. I would not take away the contentment of your convictions.’. A small tone of sadness came through as he added ‘I would not cause you any more sorrow.’

 

‘Sorrow? What do you know of my sorrow?’. Helena's brow furrowed as she turned her attention fast on the man, more than a little intrigued by the odd statement.

 

Craven ran his hand wearily through his black tresses, loosening his tie so his hair fell free and spilt down past his shoulders. Rubbing his shoulders achingly, he sighed heavily.

 

‘In truth, I can see it in your eyes, for they are like mine.' Craven confessed, rather morbidly 'I know that haunted look all too well. Traumatised by a memory of a time when all was lost. You cannot escape the sorrow that has befallen, that jaded mark is branded on you forever. It changes us, as you well know, constantly plaguing us. When hope is scattered to the wind and the carrack of our heart burns with desire, only for it’s beautiful and terrifying flames to be extinguished in life’s cruel sea of loss.’

 

His eyelashes fluttered away from Helena's gaze that held fast, distracted by his own painful recollections, only to return stronger in its intensity. ‘I saw the face of death once and it was the most horrific and beautiful vision I ever beheld.’ he confessed ‘It was at that moment that I discovered a most foul and unpleasant reality. To stumble upon the horrific fact that to live is to reside in both heaven and hell, where the pieces of both crumble upon us like decaying shards of stone. Our bodies are our prisons, as are our lives. For both keep us shackled. We fear death, but in all honesty we should fear life. That is where the lessons are learnt, and that is where God and the Devil do reside. Not in the afterlife as many foolishly believe, oh no…we are sorely mistaken on that note. Alone in the crepuscule of this knowledge, I now dwell. Hiding from what I cannot forget and, for all I know, do not want to forget.'

 

'If you find a way to forget you must let me know.' murmured Helena. Looking up towards Craven, she added sadly 'I…I lost my family a while ago. I understand the concept of feeling like we are living in hell.'

 

The lord nodded reverently, as if he understood all too well. 'I too lost my wife and my daughter, once upon a time. It has been many years now since we departed but their memory never fades. While the clock can fade many things, time does not seem to diminish that unfortunately.'

 

'I lost my two children and every day it hurts more.' confessed Helena miserably 'My husband is dead too, but that is no concern of mine.'

 

'I am sorry for your loss.' remarked Craven softly 'For all that happens in life, I confess I search for a reason. To understand what the greatest of kings to the merest of peasants have been alluded to since the dawn of time. As the ticking of the clock never stops, I should draw closer to my inevitable death yet I will it away. I will not leave here until I am at the zenith of my knowledge of every last secret. When life’s final breath leaves my lips, perhaps then I will have learnt it all, only for it to be all for none. Then perhaps the fates will have their final laugh and let me have my peace. My flesh will decay into the fertile soil, and I will be no more. It matters not, my soul will be more the wiser for it.’

 

With a cold and almost ruthless stare that haunted Helena Rose forever, the lord remained silent as he looked at her. Many years could have well gone by as they held each other’s gaze, for time and reality ceased to exist while Craven's words echoed in their minds.

 

Suddenly Craven smiled, his left eyebrow raised ‘I think you know of what I speak.’

 

Helena sighed, shaking her head 'You claim to seek knowledge, but I ken you are only seeking power like every other man on this earth.'

 

'Yes and no.' remarked Craven 'Power in the physical sense of the mere mortal, of wealth and position, can be taken away and therefore can be of no genuine value. Knowledge, now that is something that cannot be stolen, taken, squandered or lost. It is the key to all power. The very throne of the gods.'

 

'Gods?' remarked Helena 'Did you not just say you believed in God and the Devil.'

 

'I said they remain here in this life, immortal but bound to the mortal life.' muttered Craven 'There is more beyond the veil that you cannot possibly fathom.'

‘You speak mere riddles.’ Helena faltered, sipping the cold coffee with displeasure ‘You cannot know what you claim to pursue. Indeed, you cannot know the meaning of life and all its secrets any more than one can foresee their own plight. I am sorry to say it Craven, but your pursuit in life is the very essence of a waste of it. That question, I assure you, will never be answered. For who has the credence to provide it? No one can offer you that, and even if they could, would you ever truly believe them?’

 

Craven shrugged, seemingly unconvinced. 'That all depends on the source.' he murmured 'Not all answers need be provided by the mere mortal.'

 

'Good gracious man, who else is there to answer your question?!' chortled Helena 'Pixies and goblins? I can assure you there is no one except the mere mortal, and if they are not privy to the meaning of life then it means you are not privy to an answer. Why would you care anyway? What would such wisdom achieve?'

 

The lord placed his glass firmly on the table, the clink of the cup sounding sharp on the surface. 'If the pain and beauty of life transform us into the fallen angels that we become, why should we not know the reason behind it?’ he demanded, his enthusiasm rising as he spoke ‘My muse is the shadowy depths of my lustful imagination, that pulls and pushes, tears and rips my soul to shreds. There has to be a reason for all this or we are all doomed. I will not accept that! For I have seen the hand of misery swipe the unfortunate souls of the living, time and time again, and I have witnessed the blissful ignorance that the blessed take in their stride. How many times have I seen the enigma of pleasure being taken from the sadist, and ruthless pain being caused by the benevolent? Do you not see? It is a puzzle, an elaborate puzzle that no one has ever solved throughout time.’

 

‘You speak as if you are an immortal, my dear lord,’ Helena chuckled ‘yet here you are flesh and blood before me.'

 

'I do not know what I am anymore.' replied Craven darkly 'I am the architecture of the oldest of buildings. I am the cracks in ruins of crumbling decay. I am the blades of grass yet to be grown.'

 

'I…' Helena shook her head with a laugh '...have no idea of what you speak.'

 

The lord placed his pipe on the table, a tired look on his pale face as he drew back to lean into his chair once more. 'Take no heed from my words…it feels as if I have lived many lives, that is all.' he observed wearily.

 

'Death before taking possession of another body?' remarked Helena with a curious frown 'Aye, we have legends of that where I come from. Where the body dies but the soul never does, and continues to live when it is reborn into this world again.'

 

Craven's eyes shifted uncomfortably for a moment, tapping the base of the glass in unrest. 'Not exactly.' he muttered under his breath. Turning up to look at Helena once more, a brilliant smile suddenly transformed on his face 'You are right, I speak in riddles and should not burden those around me when I am in a quandary of my own. Please do forgive me, for where are my manners?! Enlighten me of the wonders of yourself, Mistress Rose.'

 

Helena paused, finding herself strangely captivated by the charms of this mysterious enigma. She had no interest in people of status, especially English ones, and yet the intelligence of this man, so passionate in the pursuit of an inconsequential riddle, seemed to make her forget about titles and country. Indeed, Craven made her forget that she had stumbled out of some wardrobe moments before, expecting to be the forest in Dysart. Expecting to go to her death.

 

Perhaps this person's soul, so intense, and his character so brutally raw, thoughts spilling forth without fear of reprisal, were the true meaning of authenticity. Perhaps this was a rare being before her, one who wore no mask and played no games, grounded as the mighty oak rooted in the earth yet free spirited as a lark in the sky.

 

Craven looked upon her with a calm yet confident face, his eyes smiling into hers in anticipation of her words. Words people her entire life had no interest in, except for Evans. Now, she found herself at loss of them…every single one.

 

'There is nothing important about me.' she replied, taking another swift sip of the bitter coffee.

 

'You, my lady, are a terrible liar!' Craven laughed. Running his hand across his bottom lip almost playfully, Craven chuckled as he continued to look upon her 'One would only have to pass their eyes across you for a mere second to know that you are spectacular. Of that I am certain.'

 

Pursing her lips, Helena felt ashamed as she felt her heart flutter at the comment. Perhaps she was wrong and this stranger was toying with her, indulging in a little game for his own amusement, and she was foolishly enjoying the play. Perhaps she even delighted in the attention?

 

'Words are cheap, Lord De'Montmoray.' replied Helena dismissively 'You know nothing about me.'

 

'Craven.' he replied gently. 'Words are cheap from the mouths of excessive chatterers. I rarely speak, but when I do the words from my lips are the very essence of legitimacy. The very essence of my soul. I know that you came from a place that betrayed you. That your lover did the same. I know that you were forced to live another life that was not of your choosing, and now you are lost, as once was I.'

 

Helena caught her breath. Surely this man was toying with her? He did not know her, yet how did he manage to guess what had occurred in her life?

 

With a contrived laugh, Helena waved her hand to brush off the comment 'I've heard the same said to me by gypsies, Craven. What next? Will I stumble across a pouch of gold in a valley on the first day of spring? Take heed if I hear the caw of a raven at midnight, or if my teapot breaks before midday? Will I meet a tall, dark handsome stranger?'

 

'Two, I imagine.' smirked Craven, drumming his fingers on the table in amusement.

 

'Human nature will condition but it cannot take shape without the choice of each and every person.' informed Helena somewhat defiantly 'You cannot define us all. That is why you will never find the meaning to life. To all of this.’. She waved her hand about the laneway 'You seek out the answer that no person knows, or has ever known, for there is no answer…just individual situation.'

 

‘No,’ he muttered wearily ‘I used to think that, oh believe me. Yet now I have seen more than you would believe, more than can be simply explained as cause and effect. To be entirely honest with you, I tire of its drawn out lament. Too many lives pass me by and they all make the same mistakes. Time and time again, irrespective of their freewill. They all fall for the same vices. Of the deafening clank of hollow coin deep in one’s pockets, or the sniffing powders that never satisfy the urge. Perhaps the power of control will comfort one’s soul when the jealous snake of greed comes to sink in its fangs, or maybe, just maybe, wanton lust will sate one’s unquenchable desire. I assure you, it is well worn list that is fraying at the edges and coated in its insidious fate.'

 

'Then there is your answer.' shrugged the woman 'People will be people. Some alike, but never the same. Their weaknesses vary, but in their collective are the same. There is no mystery to be found in that. Ah, but perhaps you and I are simultaneously right, we all walk the same direction, but on separate paths.'

 

'That is what I like about you Helena.' chuckled Craven, speaking to her as if she were a dear friend 'The outer shell is exquisite, and yet your mind is equally so. Your thoughts are thousand times more intoxicating than the drink in my hand.'

 

'Well let us hope it is a fine wine you have there and not some watered down old grog.' retorted Helena.

 

Craven laughed heartily at the comment before he took another sip of his wine. 'It is a strong yet syrupy and deeply intense claret from the Bordeaux region in France. You can taste the sweetness of the grapes and the sensual darkness of the cherry dance upon your tongue, along with a hint of spice and a dash of fiery pepper. Aged in oak, and profoundly rich to the very core.'

 

Crimson red in its divine depths, the lord swilled the glass with a seductive charm that made Helena's rouged cheeks grow deeper in colour. Craven held a pleased look on his face, obviously entertained at the reaction he had procured although he did not say a word, as they both remained silent.

 

Finally, Craven reached into his pocket, pulling out an ornate silver pocket watch attached to a silver chain. Flipping the cover open, he observed the time.

 

'The hour is late; you should be going.' informed Craven as he downed the last of his wine. Standing up, he adjusted his waistcoat and placed his top hat on his head, tipping it towards Helena as she watched on. 'Well met, Mistress Rose.' he remarked with a gentlemanly bow 'Perhaps fate will favour me and our paths will meet once more.'

 

''Tis but chance.' teased Helena, producing a chuckle from the lord.

 

'Then let us hope for good luck.' he replied with a warm smile.

 

Helena held a beam of her own as she watched the lord walk to the coffee house, before emerging once more, passing her and continuing down towards the main street.

 

Just before Craven turned the corner, he threw her a look back, a small smile on his lips and a knowing wink before he finally disappeared from her sight and into the night.

 

 

****

 

 

'So…. that is the entire account of what happened.' confessed Helena 'Of how we came to know of you.'

 

Helena and Evans sat on the edge of Craven's bed and took a deep breath at the same time, waiting in eager anticipation at the lord who looked utterly baffled by the story presented to him. Craven remained silent, staring down at the cotton bedspread, picking at the loose threads as he appeared to be struggling to comprehend at what he had just been told.

 

'That is why we came looking for you.' added Evans gently, after several moments of silence had passed 'Helena returned back into the left side of the cabinet an hour later from when she left, and back here a day later. She told me about you; about being a lord and being British.'

 

'So we decided to find any records of you.' continued Helena 'It was twenty-five years in the future but you were bound to have been here in England at some point. We supposed we were looking for a young lad.'

 

Evans nodded 'I asked my friend Mr. Burns whether he knew of a Lord Craven De'Montmoray. He said he would inquire via a friend of his, one who apparently knows practically everyone in England. Well! Burns came back soon after to inform me there was a Lord De'Montmoray that lived in Bloomsbury at the very present day, at Ashcombe Estate.'

 

'So we went to your residence the very next day to meet you.' continued Helena excitedly, looking over to the shopkeeper. 'Remember Evans?' laughed Helena 'We crouched in the bushes all morning until Craven came out of his manor?'

 

'I sat on a prickle patch for four hours.' replied Evans with a displeased frown 'I can still feel the unforgiving pierce upon my flesh to this very day. From seven in the morning until eleven, when finally you emerged with your wife and child.'

 

'You saw me? Knew of me? Of Emily and Mercy?' remarked Craven in surprise 'Back in 1844?'

 

'Yes.' replied Helena and Evans unanimously.

 

'Why in the dickens was I in Australia?!' remarked Craven in disbelief 'All my estates and tenants, indeed every part of my business is here in England. Did I perhaps book passage over there for some reason after the death of my family? I cannot say I have ever had the inclination to leave London, especially not to venture to Australia. Is that not one of the places where we send our convicts?'

 

'Quite right,' replied Evans 'I read just the other day that Pentonville Prison had transported another penal colony to Van Diemen's Land.'

 

'Per chance I become a convict myself at some future point, and that is how I end up in Melbourne?' grumbled Craven 'What am I supposed to think of all this?'

 

'Impeccably dressed and drinking fine wine?' scoffed Helena 'Not really what I envision a convict to be doing, even if you had served your sentence years prior. No, you were the image of a lord, not a former labourer. With skin as white as it is now.'

 

'I hear Australia is terribly hot.' remarked Evans, adding with a laugh 'Besides I think we can safely rule out that you were not sent to Australia as a convict.'

 

'Quite so.' agreed Helena. Placing her hands gently on the bedspread, she looked sincerely into the eyes of Craven. 'There is something that is even more disturbing that you need to know.' informed Helena 'Evans and I were about to contact you when you emerged from your estate in 1844, but when I saw you we remained hidden.'

 

'Why?' asked Craven.

 

'The version of you that I met twenty-five years in the future looked exactly as you do now.' informed Helena seriously 'You had not aged a day. You say you are thirty-seven now? Well, I met you when you should have been sixty-two years old and yet…you looked not a day older than you do now Craven!'

 

'This is ludicrous.' replied Craven, casting his eyes between the pair 'That makes absolutely no sense. Not one jot.'

 

'Well no one ages that well, that is all I am saying.' remarked Helena.

 

'Unless you time travelled there yourself?' muttered Evans, throwing a curious look at the lord.

 

'So that is what you both think I did? And just how do you propose I did that?' replied Craven in bewilderment 'Jumped into my own mystical wardrobe. I am not like you Evans, I never happened across one in Scotland.'

 

'Well that is the very thing, is it not?' remarked Evans excitedly 'Helena mentioned that you said you had lost your family many years ago. How could that have been if you looked the same age as you do now? Do you not see? You have found a way to travel, and by the sound of it you had been doing so for some time.'

 

'Or are indeed immortal.' mused Helena 'Either way, it is more than a little disturbing.'

 

'And does one not age when they time travel?' questioned Craven heatedly 'Everyone grows old. Everyone. I am sorry but I have tolerated a lot of nonsense from you both, but this far outweighs it all!'

 

'That is why we needed to see you out.' appealed Evans 'Unfortunately everything we have said is entirely the truth.'

 

'And you are certain it was me that you saw in Melbourne?' asked Craven.

 

Helena chuckled, shaking her head. 'He looked exactly like you, spoke like you and said his name was Lord Craven De'Montmoray. What more evidence do you need?'

 

'Evans, Helena.' frowned Craven 'Do you not see what you have done is only going to work against you? You have changed the future by telling me this. What if I did, just to entertain your fancy, what if I did time travel of my own accord. I have yet to do it, for I assure you I have not been privy to such fanciful escapades. If I had managed to, then that is when I should have met Helena for the first time. Yet now I know Helena already. You have changed the course of events by contacting me, when really you should have done nothing at all!'

 

'What choice did we have?' asked Helena.

 

'That is my point, you could have waited.' pointed out Craven sternly 'Yes, waited and done nothing.'

 

'To what end?' appealed Evans 'There was no guarantee you were ever going to cross our paths again.

 

'By what Helena was saying I desired to cross paths again.' pointed out the lord.

 

Evans ran his hands through his hair in frustration, pulling at the brown strands in anguish 'There were no guarantees, no certainty. All we wanted were answers. Apart from Helena and I, you seemed the only other who appeared to have been travelling yourself in search for the answers of the unknown.'

 

'I do not mean offence Craven, but you were acting very strange.' added Helena 'You spoke of wanting to know the secrets of life, and you implied that you had experienced a fair amount. Lived many lives. Willed away death. You were veiled in this mysterious persona, and I could have sworn you knew a great deal more than you were letting on.'

 

'You said I spoke in riddles over a glass of wine.' dismissed Craven 'It was most likely the spirit in me being cheerful and nothing more.'

 

'Does that actually happen to you?' teased Helena 'Now that is something I'd like to see.'

 

'Apparently you already have.' replied Craven, the smallest curl on his lips.

 

Evans frowned as he noticed the way his companion bit her lip and turned to face him in order to conceal her warm cheeks from Craven.

 

'Even now we have no idea how the contraption works.' exasperated Evans 'But you, you, told Helena you felt like you had lived many life times. You spoke of willing away death as you searched for answers. Twenty-five years in the future, and yet not a day older than you are now. You know something Craven.'

 

'I know…nothing.' he replied simply 'Surely you already suspected that?'

 

'Well that is where we stand for now.' sighed Evans 'Helena returned here and we waited.'

 

'Waited for what?' asked Craven sharply, already anticipating the answer 'If you knew Emily and Mercy were going to die why in the devil did you not come and warn me? I take it that was what you were waiting for?'

 

'We wanted to.' replied Helena miserably 'Many, many times.'

 

'In all honesty, would you have ever believed us?' asked Evans sadly.

 

Craven observed the pair, then genuine woefulness apparent. 'No, I suppose not.' muttered Craven 'Most likely I would have thought you both mad and ordered you off my property.'

 

'I thought about warning you every day, that guilt has weighed heavily on my mind.' confessed Helena 'If I had known what they had died of, or the month or year…I would have ran up to you and told you no matter the consequences.'

 

The lord threw a faint smile to the woman 'I believe you.'

 

Helena nodded, patting his hand in reassurance as she held his attention, neither of them noticing Evans watching the pair with a small look of concern.

 

'So the right door leads to the past and the left to the future.' remarked Craven 'Unless one desires to travel to Dysart or Melbourne, the apparatus downstairs is not at all that exceptional. Although it is faster than travelling by boat.'

 

Helena chuckled, but Evans remained glum at the comment. Walking over to the window he looked out into the back alleyway, deep in thought as a heavy sigh departed from his lips.

 

'What about that spirit of yours? The old woman.' asked Craven 'It would be a jolly good time for her to show up and explain all this.'

 

'I have never heard from her since that day in Scotland.' muttered Evans dismally, eyes fixated on the darkness of the night outside 'I even returned to my old house in Islington to contact her, and she hid from me. Can you believe it? I know she is bound to the place but she refused to show herself. So there she remains, unwilling for some reason to further aid me.'

 

'That is because she is a wicked Sluagh.' muttered Helena 'Ever so helpful aye, driving you half insane as a wee lad about finding the damn cabinet, and the moment you do?'

 

'Nothing.' replied a disenchanted Evans.

 

'What would happen if….'. Craven looked over at his two companions, a curious look on his face emerging.

 

'What?' they both replied.

 

'What if one of us entered into each side of the cabinet door at the same time?' he asked.

 

Evans and Helena threw a puzzled look between them.

 

'I suppose one of us would travel to the future and the other to the past?' replied Evans 'One in the Eachann Forest, the other in Melbourne.'

 

'Yes but how can that be?' frowned Craven 'Who is to say someone did not stumble across your wardrobe after you and Helena fled from Scotland? Surely the destination of the wardrobe is controlled by the person who owns the wardrobe at the time?'

 

'In theory, well yes.' remarked Evans 'It still does not explain the purpose of it, or why it travels forwards and backwards.'. Drawing his hands to his temples he added in frustration 'It does not explain how it was created, or by who. Why it does what it does, and how one controls it. We have essentially stumbled across the most incredible wonder in the world, and yet it serves little purpose in our ignorant hands. There has to be more.'

 

Craven shrugged 'Who is to say there has to be?'

 

'I suppose we will have to think on this. You should get some rest.' advised Evans as he moved to the entrance of the room 'Helena and I will both be out tomorrow attending to some business with a patron of ours. Perhaps we can ponder this further tomorrow night over supper?'

 

'Will you be okay by yourself?' asked Helena, looking genuinely concerned 'We should return by the afternoon.'

 

Craven nodded, waving them out of the room. 'Yes go, go, I am fine. In fact, I need to attend to some business at my estate, I shall go there in the morning. I dare say you both deserve a break from me at some point.'

 

'Out of the frying pan and into the fire laddie, there is no break for me tomorrow.' grinned Helena as she left the room, a soft smile on her face as she passed Evans.

 

The shopkeeper paused, watching Helena ascend to the bedroom attic. Turning back to Craven, he added softly 'Be careful with her Craven.'

 

The lord looked up in surprise, a baffled expression on his face. 'Evans, whatever do you mean?'

 

Evans bit his lip, as if struggling to say the words weighing heavily on his mind 'Only to say, and I know it was hardly in your control considering you have not done anything…. but.'. The shopkeeper looked Craven sternly in the eye 'Sufficed to say you made an impression on Helena when she came across you in Melbourne.'

 

'An impression?' mused Craven, his face revealing a small amount of playfulness 'Yet I cannot recall the encounter, you will have to forgive me.'

 

'All I am saying is, while Helena may seem as strong as a crag in the Highlands, she is incredibly vulnerable. Dare I say fragile, although heaven help me if the woman ever heard me say it. What happened to Helena in Dysart has traumatised her more than you could imagine and the experience still haunts her to the present day. Every night I hear her cry out in her sleep, begging for her life. Crying out the names of her children. It is heartbreaking.'

 

'I was not aware you two were courting.' remarked Craven in surprise.

 

Evans shook his head 'Lord no, we are just friends. We share the attic out of necessity, one side each and a screen separating the room. Either that or one of us has to sleep down stairs on the floor. Not good for business to see the shopkeeper asleep in the middle of his shop.'

 

Craven chuckled at the gentleman, shaking his head and recalling Helena saying Evans was a victim of his kindness.

 

'All I am saying is, there is a lot of deep emotional hurt within Helena.' continued Evans 'She has lived such a terribly hard life, much worse than you or I could possibly imagine.'

 

'Whatever you are implying I intend to do Evans, I assure you I am not.' remarked Craven sharply 'Lest you forget, I recently lost my own dear wife.'

 

'No, no I would never imply such a thing, you mistake me.' apologised Evans 'Oh dear, I am making a terrible mess of this. I am merely pointing out, whether you know it or not, you have a hold over Helena. Tread carefully, she is dear to me and I do not wish to see her hurt.'

 

'Well then we can both agree to that.' replied Craven sternly 'I would not see her hurt either.'. Looking ashamed, Craven lifted the covers off him and began to climb out of the bed. 'I cannot stay here, look at what has become of your abode. You are shoved in the attic having to live in the most disreputable of situations.'

 

Evans chuckled 'The only issue Helena has in sharing a room with me is my early rising. Apparently I wake the night owl long before she is ready to open her eyes. Do you know what though? Oddly enough, having you two here has made me happier than I have been in quite some time. After my wife left me, I was isolated from the world. Not a soul to speak to, apart from my customers and a handful of acquaintances. Although I do tend to enjoy the life of a lone wolf, I have discovered having you and Helena here to be quite refreshing. I would happily share the attic with ten other people, it matters not.'

 

'In all honesty Evans, I would like to stay here if you would have me a little while longer?' confessed Craven, looking seriously at his host 'I fear the moment I return to my manor, my lifestyle will return to its former days.'

 

Evans smiled 'I am glad to have you here Craven.'

 

The lord paused, a humble moment where perhaps his emotions were getting the better of him. 'Thank you Evans.' he remarked softly 'For all that you have done for me…. I may not be alive now if it were not for you and Helena. I have never experienced such benevolence from friends let alone strangers'

 

'I am happy to have been of service, as is Helena. We consider you a friend Craven, it is strange but in truth we have for some time now.' confessed the shopkeeper 'For what it is worth, I am sorry to have put this burden on an already burdened man.'

 

Craven sighed tiredly 'I suppose for one's life it is suitable trade off. As I am staying, and I dare say imposing, I shall sleep on the window bench at the end of the hallway so you can have your room back.'

 

Evans grinned 'Take it from personal experience, you would be more comfortable sleeping on the cobblestones outside in the middle of winter. No, perhaps you and I can share the attic and let Helena reside here once more. I know she was ever so fond of having a bedroom that had a window. Apparently in Scotland she lived in a hut that had none at all!'

 

Craven shook his head in disbelief, as Evans threw a nod in agreement.

 

'Take care tomorrow when you travel, only go for an hour and I would advise avoiding anything stressful.' remarked Evans seriously 'You need to be very careful after a seizure of the brain.' 

 

'Your concern is duly noted and appreciated.' replied Craven 'Good night Evans.'

 

'Good night Craven.' smiled Evans.

 

Lying back down on the bed, Craven could hear the soft steps of Evans ascend into the attic. Staring up at the green ceiling, the lord pinched his lip in concern. In agreeing to stay he should have been happy in the knowledge that he was not alone, and yet he wondered why he was unable to shake that foreboding feeling that he was anything but….

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